An admirer of finely crafted anything. Will write and design at the right price.



A female boss, a male staff, Chlamydia & a murder

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Here's something that I found in my inbox today; a Guy Ritchie-like treatment of a TV spot - complete with that familiar music to one his famous gangster film, (no no, not that one with Madonna in it, that one he made after he was forced by Madonna-loving gangsters, there's a subtle difference), fast cuts and references to uninhibited sex in the mail room and murder. Tea, budak baik? No sugar, please. I'm sweet enough.


I warned you about karma, didn't I?

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I smiled twice today. The first time, nope I'm not telling you, Imran. But I'll indulge you with the second one. The United Nations' eternally hibernating creative mammoth snored a little in its anti-racism campaign that managed to offend Denmark, the nation whose collective political mouth was seen drooling from their incessant speech about freedom of speech while systematically raping another man's creed, and this should be noted for eternity, their unswerving refusal to offer an apology for their obvious misdeeds even after a group of religious leaders invited them for a meeting to discuss the incident. How pedestrian. Read more here.












Karma indeedy.



No, I'm not a genius. Far from smart. I mean, c'mon. Some blonde chick in a very short skirt called me stupid once and laughed at my being a college drop out. A blonde, dammit. But she's a blonde, so I'll let her off easy. I don't want to hurt her feelings. I can imagine how difficult it is being a blonde and all. If it was some dude, I would just cast him as trying too hard to be likeable. And then he would apologize profusely like that whiny case from "Shattered Glass" because he knows that I could bust his ass wide open if I wanted to but I'd say, it's ok, don't be sorry, it happens because y'know, I read Sun Tzu since I was 16 or something. But since I have your attention, here's something for your imagination:
Doesn't that look an iPod to you?











Found this in my inbox today. It's a picture of a mountain range that has an uncanny resemblance to a human face. Let's call her Mother Earth. Note the 'earpiece' hanging out at where the ear is supposed to be, right there.

Hmm...I wonder if what she has on her playlist. LOL.



So there you have it. From what I hear, the first picture could be from an upcoming campaign or celebration for Apple's 30th anniversary this April. But I'm not sure about the second one though, but if that's nature, then I sleep well at night thinking that Mother Earth trusts the same designers as I do. Heheh.


Musical landmarks & reminders

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From what I understand, "Elizabethtown" has not been received well by neither critics nor fans; some people are taking sides, in which I think is great. We could be in for many heated arguments.

But if it's a Cameron Crowe movie, there's always some great music to be found.

Here's where Cameron Crowe talks about how the music actually wrote "Elizabethtown".

For the music lover:
Ever wonder why, some of your CDs are loud and some are curiously soft? How some albums that you expect to be good but just lacks something (also referred to as clarity and emotional punch) it's supposed to be doing to you? Here's the answer: Dynamic range. A must read for the discerning listener.

And as for the book, it's just a note to myself. That's all. Thankya verra much!


Leech-a off-a Myspace-a

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So, you like music AND Myspace? Both, at the same time? Oh. Okay. I'll try to keep my honest opinions to myself (coughcoughtrailertrashcoughcough). Just kidding. Here's a way to for you to hack into Myspace and download the music you've been streaming from that page. And the saddest part is, I don't know why I'm doing this for you *sigh*.


You can keep your fez on

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"With each successive album, Steely Dan's popular success and appeal become more obscured by sundry admirers' claims of abstruseness and complexity. To some it seems inevitable that the Dan will eventually produce the Finnegan's Wake of rock. And that's silly: Steely Dan is trying just as hard as any random country/disco/metal band to capture our attention, i.e., sell records. For all their jazzy influences, they are a florid rock band, immersed in popular concerns and styles. True, songwriters Walter Becker and Donald Fagen bow to no one in the matter of composing immaculate, catchy cul-de-sacs, but it is that same immaculateness, the way with words, as impenetrable as they may appear, fit with metrical seamlessness into the melodies that makes their impenetrability of little importance to any casual listener caught up in the sound of the entire song."

The review(s) that captured the musical essence of the Dan. You will click here, Luke.


New Pearl Jam album, album cover

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Update! Various sources (numerous blogs, Amazon and some say, even on the J Record website) have been displaying and touting this image as the official cover of the latest album by Pearl Jam. There has been no word or official statement by anyone in the band thus far, evidently keeping the news lid on tight till the 2nd of May, the official date for the release.




















From their official site.


The show must go on

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Finally! It's working again. Just now blogger refused to publish my update on "Sunday scribble"; it didn't cite what my mistake was or offer any feedback (or even an apology). *sigh*

This is the album cover of the 30th anniversary edition of Dark Side of the Moon. Lovely. I like that word.

If you don't like it, what's your problem, Dorkus?! Go eat some poisonous pink mushrooms in some bush somewhere where it's 5 o'clock and the cannibals can't see you. I mean, even if you don't like the music that I listen to, it doesn't mean we can't be friends. I'm trying way too damn hard.

Edit:
Now, it's not working again. It could be my pc. But I've tried uploading a pix while I was at the office and I still get the same results. Could it be blogger's own fault? Or..that damned streamyx.

If it's caused by streamyx, then I'm not suprised at all. This is what happens when a single company holds a monopoly of an industry: they have no competitors because they control everything. Then they get fat and bloated. We pay 80 bucks a month for a service that doesn't hold up to its promise. Oh wait. Oops. My bad. They never did promise much. A friend of mine who's living in Japan gets an actual 10mbps at home, easily. At home. Want to know how fast their corporate line is? 100mbps. Actual. I don't care if that friend/acquiantance is lying about this because this fact still rings true: we have a brokeback-mountain-lousy connection. Some you may disagree with me. That we can't compare our country with a more developed one because it doesn't give us a comparative advantage. But if don't compare ourselves with a nation far more superior, how do we hope to improve and achieve the same level exactly? Love me or hate me, we both know that in this matter, I'm right.

All of the 2 million subscribers are asking for other telcos to offer us better options. But they can't do anything significant because the infrastructure belongs to the damned company owned by the powers that be. Previously owned by them, I think they're privatized now. I could be wrong. But for God sakes, Japan was nuked 60 years ago.


Sunday scribble

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It's sunday and I haven't been blogging for several days due to work and due to personal reasons that I will not divulge here, my imaginary readers. Funny how, at one time, I wasn't bothered by this at all. And now, I'm compelled to finding reasons to blog. I can't see the sun outside; it looks as if it's going to rain any minute now but it has been that dark since I woke up hours ago. Had my morning fag in the bathroom while reading Guitar World's May issue. Specifically the interviews with Dave Gilmour & Roger Waters. I'm just one of the millions dreaming of watching/attending the reunion concert where they would play Dark Side of The Moon in its entirety for the first time in 30 years. Which reminds me, I should go out and get their 30th anniversary SACD edition of that particular album; stunning clarity, but it ends there because you need to have an SACD player to enjoy the latest version properly. I don't have an SACD player either but I'm buying the CD anyway; the redesigned cover speaks to me, no pun intended.

Right. I'm off. The net's upstream at home is excruciatingly slow and the images I've uploaded are mysteriously missing. Usually, things like this gets me upset and I
should be but I'm not. Hmm..this is something new : )

Edit:
This is the album cover. It was released three y
ears ago. I know I'm a little late for the party, but you know..better late than never!

Tried to upload several images for this post tonight but to no avail. Blogger refused the upload from my home PC. I'll try again today.

2nd edit:
Finally, uploaded the album cover. Lovely. That's the word. They say, Storm Thorgerson is the 5th Floyd (or 6th, if you're going to be anal about it).


Try!

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Where do I begin. How does it get to the middle. What happens after the middle. The journey to the middle, as uttered by Lester Bangs in "Almost Famous" isn't half as bad as it appear to to be. It's like building a pyramid. You've got to chisel it inch by inch, block by block. The dirt comingling with blood, sweat and tears. Some don't want to know that. They only want to know that it's all done and pre-arranged for them; a shortcut, an easy way out. Some do. I'm not making any sense.

Soundtrack provided by the John Mayer Trio.


Friday Funnies

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Great. It's already Friday. I probably should be in love, should I, Kitty? Heheh. Anyway, this is the first of many, many funny post of the week that I'll be posting the links to, every other Friday. Previously, it was Vovin's (all of 'em champ! Vovin is good like Dave Chapelle meet Mike Myers, you know - Masnawi).

The best self-deprecating humor I've read all week
.


Pearl Jam's latest

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We interrupt this program to bring you breaking news on Pearl Jam. The biggest rock band in the history of modern rock has leaked their latest single (sic), called "World Wide Suicide" on the internet. We may have screwed up that previous sentence due to our lack of talent, but what we lack in talent we make up on passion. Google it, kitty. Oh yes.


This is either the singles cover or the album's; I'm not sure yet.

But here's their latest track list according to stereogum:
"Life Wasted"
"World Wide Suicide"
"Comatose"
"Severed Hand"
"Marker in the Sand"
"Parachutes"
"Unemployable"
"Big Wave"
"Gone"
"Wasted Reprise"
"Army Reserve"
"Come Back"
"Inside Job"


Wanna know a litle secret?

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Found a blog full (a blogful?) of secrets. Here's how it works: you send in a homemade postcard with your secret (whatever it is) and everyone's welcomed to, to the blog. And if they think it fits, they'll include it in their post. I think it's a great, no scratch that - a swell idea to let it all out. I mean, it's like that time I saw my cousin kissing his kid sister when we were 5 and had his hand up her skirt. They did it because their father, who's horny like like a rhinoceros told them to. I still cry at night just thinking about it. Just kidding. I don't have an uncle. Go here if you like secrets.

Want some chocolate covered pretzel?




This blog is a mess. The font rendering is a disaster. Some post have mixed fonts, not by design, mind you. Others look fine if you go through the archive. The current page makes me look like I'm one of those people who doesn't care about what they put into the world.

I would't complain if it was human error (would you go berserk if it was your own fault that the fonts are a mess? I didn't think so). In both preview & publishing mode, the font looks great in 12pt; in actual looks like its a 14pt. Some posts have mixed fonts from trebuchet to arial and some have a mix of both or more! I've been looking at the codes and did some tweaking here and there but, it's not making any sense because I'm getting mixed rendering.

This is almost an adventure on its own. Who would've thought that writing a post for a blog would be this difficult. Everytime I saved an tweak and republish, I religiously, religously, check in 3 browsers (IE, Firefox 1.5 and Opera 8.51). Hey Steve, I need some assistance in displaying proportionally spaced fonts! I apologize if any of you are having a hard time reading this post. You'd be 10 times as pissed if you were me.

Edit:
I'm going to redo everything this weekend. Wish me luck. I'm HTML challenged.


Somewhere In Time.

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The years between 1996 and 2002 were the dream years for me. I had graduated from high school. I had no idea whatsoever as to which academic direction I ought to take to have some guarantee that I won't be a cautionary tale and bring home the proverbial phat cash. I tried to capitalize on what some people interpret as "decent english", next thing I know, my application for a law course at a public college but was rejected. It instead came up with a counteroffer: Mass communication. Unlike everyone else who are massively talented and were given a map at birth, I didn't know what to do and I wasn't receiving any offer letters. And I didn't say yes to that counteroffer either. Fast forward to a month later, I'm enrolled in a private college. A very expensive one that was about to drain huge sums of money off my elder brother. I was in a big city and life, spent as kampung boy was about to change.

It was an era where dotcoms were flourishing at the rate proportionate to the amount of sex our next door neighbors were having in the middle of their apartment at 2 am, perfectly audible but more importantly, visible to us. So in between being occupied with our generous neighbors, attending classes and buying VCDs downstairs where they were printing them, we were thinking up ways (well, that's planning for a bunch of 18 year olds like us) to become the next tech entrepreneur. The dudes in black t-shirts and khakis and sneakers/docs, flying the pirate flag high and proud; adapting a pseudo-slacker culture because we were going to be rich by being tech mongers, a collective middle finger for the establishment; a connoisseur among the digerati.

We were reading Red Herring, Time, Fortune and Wired to sate our lust for tech news and geek profiles. Mentally masturbating over the amout of cash the dotcom biggies were making at startup, reading with great interest about their stock split adjustments, Initial Public Offering & Return of Investment ratios while ignoring everything that was happening around us. A few of my friends pored over computer codes like it was porn. All that transpired between the years 1996 and 2002. Maybe someday I'll be able to dream again. Right now, I have work to do.

Post inspired by: Why Wired Isn't Cool Anymore & this.


Macbook porn!

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Want more? Go here. Tell Jason I sent ya.

Plus, I found a site that features a comparison between the OS X and XP; from login to windows behaviour to applications to hardware, you'll find it all there. Clearly underlining which is the more superior operating system. Now, make with the OS!



Arghhh. Firefox seem to crash everytime I view the Friendster pages (I know, I know it's not as hip as Myspace but I'm not a hip person...figures. Besides, I signed up because my nephews asked me to), must be a scripting hoohaa because last night I had nearly 20 tabs running on the 'fox - saturated with images and videos and I had iTunes and Photoshop CS8 on at the time.

So after months of delays and hiatuses, transit is going again (Okay, I was inspired by a certain girl, but haven't you seen "Troy"? C'mon. You know I look good in a man-skirt.). First item on the agenda: the layout. Changed the template. Added some HTML code, amended some (I'm good at this like I know How To Meet the Ladies) and then saved the template changes. Then I went to bed; woke up at 6 in the a.m remembering that I didn't publish the damned thing.


Download misery and assorted love stories

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I spent the night scouring the net for mp3s and downloaded nothing because I couldn't find anything that was interesting enough to download. That is until found a link for a 320 bitrate, completely ripped Stevie Ray Vaughan's "Couldn't Stand The Weather"; one of his standout efforts. I was "the plane, the plane" ecstatic (note to self: Stop mixing metaphors with midgets). "This is better than sex", I thought. Hell yes, it's that good. That follow up album to "Texas Flood" was a surprise because I thought 'Flood couldn't be bettered. Boy, was I wrong.

If I had to buy this album just to get a single track, it'd be "Voodoo Chile (Slight Return)". One of the best versions (I'm tempted to say that it's better than the original version of 'Chile, but that would be blasphemy) I've ever heard. A few
years after SRV's untimely demise, untimely because he was getting better at jazzing up his raw blues, the only guitar player who mastered the song was Kenny Wayne Shepherd. Sends chills up and down your spine just listening to that boy play Voodoo Chile. And if you close your eyes you could *almost* see SRV and Hendrix nodding in agreement that the music world is safe in the hands of the phenom.

If I was the Sultan of Johor or Perak or Pahang, living royally off of the rakyat, I could buy the whole SRV back catalogue and give a royal middle finger to the fat bastard in college who gave away my entire CD collection (that includes a rare "Jimi Hendrix: Blues" CD, easily his finest blues fretboard work) because I had left the house a couple of months before, trying to find work.


Anyway, I'm downloading 'Weather and hopefully it goes well because the first time the RAR archive was corrupted and I lost everything; 6 hours of download down the drain because some fancy pants turned off our proxy at home.
--
Update: Finished downloading 'Weather after 6 hours of waiting (it trickled at 4.1kb/s). But the agony of waiting was further compounded when WINRAR crashed the archive, citing header error. A couple of months ago, the same thing to a Pearl Jam archive. Consequently giving me a headache and leaving me to curse the day on my lonesome. Then I thought, why not install a newer version of WINRAR?. So, off I went googling the software fix, found the latest version on trial basis, installed it and everything is now working again. Man, it's goood. Maybe I'll swing by the record store in Subang Parade or Sg. Wang tomorrow since I'll be going to Lowyat to get a another hard drive.

Next project: Installing the Mac Os X on an X86. If everything goes well, I'll be dual booting and switching between XP & the real McCoy. Done with a few headaches and curses, of course. Heheh.



Naive Blogger? Well...

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Found this while doing some research on blogging techniques (Not that I need to know additional techniques on blogging. Every boy and every girl know that I'm an able blogger *LOL*). It seems funny and naive to me that Paul Stamatiou, author of blog central decided to quote a certain Jakob Nielsen to label us blogger dot com users as "naive" and consequently "should not be taken seriously". It's funnier after the "Lost On The Way To Rodeo Drive" episode. This is Mr Stamatiou's "about" page.



Well, it's official folks. One of our regular blogger can now be found, yes be found, on the second page of Google under the keywords "blogger template". According to a source who asked to remain anonymous, this is what happens when you're the editor of one of the nation's most popular teen entertainment magazine. Uh..congratulations? Heheh.



Just kidding. I asked 7 people today about how they see me as a person. Here are the miserable result of that incident. Brad Pitt banged your girlfriend. I'm sorry.

Arena

(known to self and others)

helpful, observant, quiet, shy

Blind Spot

(known only to others)

calm, clever, complex, confident, friendly, idealistic, ingenious, intelligent, knowledgeable, powerful, proud, relaxed, religious, responsive, searching, self-conscious, sentimental, silly, wise, witty

Fa├žade

(known only to self)

introverted, tense

Unknown

(known to nobody -- this is the good stuff, Hah!)

able, accepting, adaptable, bold, brave, caring, cheerful, dependable, dignified, energetic, extroverted, giving, happy, independent, kind, logical, loving, mature, modest, nervous, organised, patient, reflective, self-assertive, sensible, spontaneous, sympathetic, trustworthy, warm

Dominant Traits

75% of people think that zafer is intelligent (<--- Really? Ohh you're just pulling me legs! Ohh you dog you! C'mere...let me feel the fibre of your fabric.)

62% of people think that zafer is knowledgeable (All I know right now is that next week, the "irritating" crowd are inviting me out to a disco. A Night At the Roxbury. Dear God...what have I said yes to.)

All Percentages

able (0%) accepting (0%) adaptable (0%) bold (0%) brave (0%) calm (12%) caring (0%) cheerful (0%) clever (25%) complex (37%) confident (12%) dependable (0%) dignified (0%) energetic (0%) extroverted (0%) friendly (25%) giving (0%) happy (0%) helpful (12%) idealistic (37%) independent (0%) ingenious (12%) intelligent (75%) introverted (0%) kind (0%) knowledgeable (62%) logical (0%) loving (0%) mature (0%) modest (0%) nervous (0%) observant (25%) organised (0%) patient (0%) powerful (12%) proud (12%) quiet (12%) reflective (0%) relaxed (12%) religious (12%) responsive (12%) searching (12%) self-assertive (0%) self-conscious (25%) sensible (0%) sentimental (37%) shy (25%) silly (25%) spontaneous (0%) sympathetic (0%) tense (0%) trustworthy (0%) warm (0%) wise (12%) witty (37%)

Created by the Interactive Johari Window on 3.3.2006, using data from 8 respondents.
You can make your own Johari Window, or view zafer's full data.


Happenstance

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I tell myself everyday I should blog more often. You know, I should flex my writing muscles more so I wouldn't freeze in front of the screen and be more inarticulate than usual. But I also tell myself that I should blog about something that I feel close to home. When I have something personal to say. Well, tonight, if you're reading this - then I'm sorry but you have to bear with me on this trip down memory lane. It started when I get on the train.

As usual, I take the train home nightly at around 8 or a little over 8. It's my favorite time of day because when I reach home it's neither too early nor too late; plus I know I wouldn't find myself wrecking my head trying to come up with something to do before I hit the bed. So I got on the train near the office and to get to KLSentral. And I wait for a few minutes for the train to come and I get to go home and do whatever it is that I do nightly such as, updating the iPod or downloading things from it onto the PC.

After a few minutes of waiting in anxiety, the train arrives and I got onboard and looked around for a place to sit. After a few seconds, I found a empty seat next to a girl. It faced the back of the train and I had the isle to myself to stare at. I saw a woman who looks like she's in her mid-twenties in a short black skirt. I was tempted to look her way because, you know, that's how upskirts pictures are done. Heh. But I didn't. I didn't know why. Usually I relish the chance when this sort of opportunity presented itself to me. Tonight I said no to myself.

After a few minutes of sitting and waiting to get home, I saw her. I could see her through the window at the back of the connecting car. I couldn't believe my eyes because she was sort of staring right back at me. This, ladies and gentlemen doesn't happen often enough. Normally, girls look away as if I'm a leper and they'd run away when they see me coming. Or both.

Otherwise, I'd feel like Nazri: Walking on air most of the time and grinning like an idiot because he had found the girl. You lucky prick you.

She was looking my way and I found myself stuck in her gaze. I couldn't look elsewhere. I didn't know what to do. I froze. I fumbled around with the iPod checking what song Neil Young (thanks for lending me the CD, Nina!) was playing at the time; turning it up a little louder to drown the sound of the moving train. She was looking rather comfortable in her white baju kurung and quietly I said to myself, "What kind of school girl goes back at 9? What sort of school would do that to a child? It's insane." I was increasingly dreading the thought of staring at a school girl. With all the respect a person could muster for people like Nazri or the Bart who gets their rocks off staring at barely legal, young girls in flimsy school uniforms, I know I'm not that type. Surely, I'm a little different. Not better, just different. A man has to have principles, you know.

So the train rides the slightly bumpy rails that slithers ever so gracefully. Like a Japanese woman in a kimono, all grace and respect. I was looking around and I realise that she was staring back at me. I know this. I know because when the train rides the turns in the railway, our cars are out of sync and she adjusts herself a little so we wouldn't lose eye contact. I love it when she does that. We stared at each other, smiling, embarassed, because we know that we're were caught staring at each other. She gets it. For me, it was an instant death. Thank you, God.

She wears her hair neck length. A neat bob. No bangs and at the time, some of it was covering her face. Her skin is brown and she has soft facial features. From where I was sitting, I could see her cute nose and thin, friendly lips. We smiled at each other because it was silly being locked in a staring contest for close to 20 minutes. Tell me, what else can a man do when he has a cute girl staring back at him on a train at 9 p.m? I was praying to God that the train ride would last forever. Or atleast, until she get off at Shah Alam and I walk right up to her, say hello and introduce myself.

Right. Introduce myself and make her puke all over the tiles at the train station. I would never have that sort of courage. Not in a million years. Not even when pigs fly.

Minutes later, she got off at Subang (would somebody please tell me, how on earth does Subang get such unearthly amount of beautiful girls?!) I was more nervous now than before because she's gotten off the train and I couldn't see her for the last time as she walks towards the gate because the windows weren't girl-friendly. And all I know is that she's medium built. Stands a little taller than Aliya or Opie. And most importantly, has a sense of humor. Because the last couple of girls that I got to know, had none. Or a particularly flame-retardant one at that.

I wondered, during the rest of the journey home about what it would be like knowing a girl like that. Warm smile. Soft features. White baju kurung. I wondered about what her favorite movies are. Her favorite records, or books that she's read and found interesting. The things that I could learn from her. Your garden variety, schizophrenic, little things like that that made her mine.

And so tonight, I'll be going to bed thanking God for His endless imagination. After that, maybe I'll doze off wondering if I see her again tomorrow.


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